What I Wish I’d Known About Suddenly Becoming a “Fat Girl”

 

Life has a way of throwing us into unexpected situations. For some, it’s a new job, a sudden move, or a change in relationships. For me, it was waking up one day and realizing I was now, by society’s standards, considered a “fat girl.” The change didn’t happen overnight, but the awareness did. And I wish I’d known a few things beforehand—things that might have made this new reality a little easier to navigate.

1. Weight Doesn’t Define Your Worth

It sounds cliché, but I wish I had understood this on a deeper level before the weight crept on. Society places so much value on thinness that I didn’t realize how much I had internalized the idea that being thinner made me better, more attractive, and more worthy of love or success. When I gained weight, I had to confront this toxic belief system. I wish I had known sooner that my worth didn’t change with the number on the scale, and that I was the same person, deserving of the same respect and love.

2. The Struggle with Self-Image is Real

I wasn’t prepared for the internal battle that came with becoming bigger. Mirrors became a battleground. What used to be simple decisions, like what to wear, suddenly carried a weight (pun intended) they hadn’t before. I constantly felt judged, by others and especially by myself. I wish I had known that self-image doesn’t heal overnight. It takes time to learn to love the new version of yourself, especially in a world that glorifies thinness.

3. People Can Be Cruel, But That’s Their Problem

What shocked me the most were the subtle, and not-so-subtle, ways people’s behavior changed toward me. The stares, the offhand comments, and the unsolicited “advice” about diets or exercise plans. I wish I had been more prepared for this. What I know now is that their reactions said more about them than about me. Their discomfort with my size wasn’t my burden to carry, and I wish I’d understood that I didn’t owe anyone an explanation for how I looked.

4. Finding Confidence Again is a Journey

Confidence doesn’t come easy when you’re bombarded with messages telling you that your body is “wrong.” I lost it for a while, avoiding certain social situations, clothes, or even photos. What I wish I had known earlier is that confidence is a skill you can rebuild, no matter your size. It comes from accepting yourself, surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, and recognizing that you deserve to take up space in the world, just as you are.

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5. Health and Size Are Not Always Synonymous

The media would have you believe that being bigger automatically means you’re unhealthy. But what I’ve learned is that health is about so much more than size. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of misinformation about health, weight, and fitness. I wish I’d known that you can be bigger and still be healthy, just as you can be thin and unhealthy. Shifting my focus from weight to overall well-being—both physical and mental—has been empowering.

6. Clothes Should Fit You, Not the Other Way Around

It took me a long time to realize that fashion wasn’t the enemy, even if many brands still don’t offer inclusive sizing. I wish I had known sooner that clothes are meant to fit your body, not the other way around. Once I embraced my size, I began finding styles that made me feel good, instead of trying to squeeze into clothes that didn’t fit or flatter. Fashion can be a tool for self-expression at any size.

7. Your Body Will Still Do Amazing Things

One of my biggest fears after gaining weight was that my body would somehow fail me or that I wouldn’t be able to do the things I used to love. What I wish I had known was that my body is still capable of so much. Whether it’s hiking, dancing, or even just walking confidently down the street, my body can still be a vessel for joy and movement. It may look different, but it’s no less powerful or worthy of care and love.

8. You Are Not Alone

It can feel isolating, like you’re the only person who’s going through this experience. But what I wish I’d known is that so many people struggle with body image, weight gain, and societal expectations. There’s a community out there of people who understand and are ready to support you. You don’t have to go through this journey alone.

Final Thoughts

Becoming a “fat girl” wasn’t something I ever imagined for myself, but looking back, I wish I had known that it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, it was the beginning of a new relationship with myself—one rooted in acceptance, self-love, and a broader understanding of what it means to be healthy and happy. I wish I had known that I was still me, no matter what size I was. And I wish everyone knew that.

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